As we get ready to leave Italy and head to Spain (with a one day stop in France) I am sort of surprised to realize that Italy has not been my favorite country so far. I loved it - I will definitely visit again, but my love isn't as strong as I expected it to be.

I expected to love Italy unconditionally because of the language, food, art, history, and wine, but in practice my time in Italy was a big mix of highs and lows, and I think I need more time to decide what I really thought of it.

I think the biggest roadblock for me was the contradiction between inner and outer beauty, and the focus on appearance in Italy. The water in Venice is beautiful but you'd be crazy to dip a toe in, there are beautiful buildings and churches with nothing inside them, and some of the nicest restaurants we went to had had the most disgusting bathrooms. People cut in line and take your table with a smile, and fights are ended with kisses and hugs, but no real resolution. Everything is beautiful, and the attitude seems to be that you should appreciate that, and ignore the late trains, questionable water, mosquitoes, and street peddlers.

My thoughts on this subject were sort of verified by a book I'm reading on the Italian Language (thanks Jen!) There are a lot of words in Italian that have to do with manufacturing a better reality, or focusing on appearances, and that seems to be a cultural priority here.

For example, the word "sprezzatura" means "the studied carelessness that conceals art and presents everything said and done as something brought about without laboriousness and almost without any thought." The term "bella figura" means "acting," or "playing a beautiful role," and it doesn't just refer to acting on a stage, but can also refer to story-telling. The word "Furbo" refers to someone "clever enough to pull off a deception," and in Italy, if you fool someone it's considered to be their problem for being stupid, not yours for being sneaky.

I would love to spend more time in the small towns of Italy, and even as I leave I am feeling sad to come back, but there are some real interesting elements to the culture that make Italy an exhausting experience. Sure enough, as we waited at the train station, I was openly gawked at, Dan got ripped off at a tourist shop, and our table was stolen out from under us. It was time to leave.