One thing that has been really hurting our budget on this trip is travel expenses. It costs a lot of money to get around Argentina in a reasonable period of time.
This was an oversight on our part, as we planned our daily budget with food, lodging, and activities in mind, and factored transportation in as an inconsequential expense. Our trip to Europe, where transportation is economical and fast, had lulled us into a false sense of security, so we came into this trip assuming we’d be able to buy flights on the fly (ha) and pay very little to hop from one place to the next.
Unfortunately, that has not been the case. For example, to get from Buenos Aires to Uruguay and back, we spent $800 USD. From Buenos Aires to El Calafate we spent about $250 USD each. From El Calafate to Puerto Madryn we spent another $225 USD each. And these are not long flights. Except for the flight from Buenos Aires to El Calafate, each flight was 45 minutes to 90 minutes long, and 180-250 USD per person, per way.
By the time we left Puerto Madryn, the price of getting around the country was starting to add up. We decided that, to get to Bariloche, the next leg of our trip, we would take the bus.
The mighty train of Argentina: Mar y Valle specializes in travel between Puerto Madryn and Bariloche
I have been told that the bus is to Argentina as the train is to Europe, that it is cheap, and a great way to travel. This perception is boosted by all the travel writers—Fodor, Lonely Planet, etc.— who wax poetically about the ease and comfort of the bus.
Insanity = Taking the bus and assuming it won't be a terrible experience
In general, I hate taking busses. I hate how dirty they are, I hate the smell, I hate the crazies they attract, I hate the confusion of identifying the correct place to get off, pushing through people to get to the exit. I hate sitting in traffic with a bunch of people I don’t know, I hate being stuck on someone else's time table
One of the best phrases I have ever heard to describe buses is, “You can’t spell abuse without bus.” And I think that very accurately describes this mode of transportation.
But, due to our lack of cash, and also because there were no flights available, we decided to take the overnight bus from Puerto Madryn to Bariloche.
Choosing the right seats for the trip
My biggest fear in taking the bus was that we would be super uncomfortable, and end up being awake all night. I was really excited about Bariloche, and didn't want to waste our entire first day. Most of my fear stemmed from many experiences lying awake half the night on a red-eye flight, but I hoped that with an Executive Suite--i.e. a section of seats thats lie completely flat, the bus would be a comfortable place to rest.
By the time we got our seats there were no busses with Executive Suites going to Puerto Madryn. Fortunately, the next best thing--the "Cama" seats--reclined about 90% of the way, and were supposed to be pretty comfortable too. Several other travelers we met on the road had verified this to be the case, so we thought we'd give it a try. For two people, it was about $200, so--at least half the price of buying a flight, especially on such short notice.
The seats are the best part of the overnight bus to Bariloche
The night we left Puerto Madryn, I went and picked up a small bottle of wine, and a couple of sandwiches. Everywhere I had read said to bring your own food, and all the friends we met along the way said to bring wine, so I felt like we were pretty prepared. I had heard that there was a dinner/breakfast service with cama seats, so I viewed what we were bringing as a supplement. I also suspected the quality of the food we'd get on the bus.
The journey was listed as 10 hours long, and since we left Puerto Madryn at 9:30pm, the idea was to eat the dinner we brought, watch some episodes of Newsroom on Dan's iPad, drink some wine, fall asleep, and arrive in town early to get a jump on the day.
I was pleased to see when we got on the bus that the seats were really big, and looked comfortable. Like business class on an airplane, but with a really great ottoman feature. Unfortunately for Dan, he was a little too tall for the seats, but he has gotten fairly used to this over the years, and can usually make do in these scenarios. #Tallpeopleproblems.
As we got settled in and the bus pulled out of town, Dan got out his iPad so we could watch some TV. Suddenly, the TV in the center aisle came on, and the sounds of a loud foreign movie began blasting out of a speaker right above our heads.
The movie was so loud it was almost comical, so when the attendant came by, we asked if it was possible to turn the sound off above our seats. He shook his head "no" and gestured at us like we should be watching the movie. It was about 10:30pm, and the movie was on so loud that we could hear it even while listening to the iPad through our headphones. I wondered if there would be movies on all night, and if there were, how we'd possibly get any sleep with the noise blaring in our ears.
Dan and I decided we would just ignore the movie above us, focus on our own show, and drink some wine, but shortly after I pulled out my bottle of wine, the attendant came by and told me to put it away.
Because everyone had told me that drinking was an essential part of falling asleep on the bus, and made it seem like it was part of the experience, I was really confused. I had forgotten to bring cups, which resulted in me drinking out of the bottle, so I thought that maybe he was taking issue with my glass bottle.
When I got a plastic cup as part of the drink service (which came with the most disgusting, inedible tray of fake food I have ever seen....I promise I will never criticize the airlines for their food choices again) I poured myself a cup of wine and kicked back. Almost immediately the attendant came back over and said, "Are you drinking?"
I was a little embarrassed/startled, and so I said, "Well, I was earlier, but I'm not now." He then proceeded to tell me he could smell booze, that there was no alcohol allowed on the bus, and confiscated my bottle!!!! Clearly, I missed the memo that drinking on the bus is supposed to be done in secret. I also wish I had known that if you sit in the front (which I had assumed would be a quieter, more relaxing experience) someone will be coming up the stairs to "check on you" all hours of the night, and make sure you're obeying the rules of the bus.
Don't even try to poop on the bus
Around 1:30am the movie went off, we made our final stop before getting on the open, desolate road, and Dan and I tried to get some sleep. It was comfortable-ish. If you are a back sleeper, then the bus is great. If you're not, it's . . . ok.
I had weird dreams, but got decent sleep until around 7:30am, when I awoke to "coffee service" (instant coffee with WAY too much sugar) and 'breakfast" (worse-than-gas-station pre-packaged "toast," and some pasty wafer thing.) I then tried to use the bathroom.
The bumpy, twisty road added some fun challenge to the event, along with the absurdity of this sign:
If someone wanted to break this rule, I am not sure how the bus company would stop them.
Apparently, if you are on a 10, 15, or 24 hour bus-ride in Argentina (which all exist) you better make sure you're all cleaned out before you go, because these are liquid-only trips.
Around 8:30am, we began watching the road. Around 9:30, I started to get hungry. Although we were expecting a morning arrival, we didn't get to Bariloche until almost 12pm. And the whole time, there were no updates or alerts as to where we were in the journey. I felt a little like a dog who's been left in the car, who has no idea when or if their owner is coming back. Not fun.
When we finally pulled up to Bariloche, Dan and I tried to laugh off the evening's events, but when the tired/cranky/hungriness set in, we ended up fighting intensely about nothing, and then slept away half the day in our hotel room. Just like I feared we would. After we awoke, we immediately bought our plane tickets for Mendoza--just to make sure we would not be stuck on an overnight bus again.
The journey from Puerto Madryn to Bariloche: 926 KM, and 10-15 hours on a bus.
Overall, I get the point of the bus--it's a cheap way for people to cover long distances, and I think it's probably the way many people HAVE to travel. I feel very spoiled that I can be snarky about a means of transportation that is a luxury to many across this country. In other words, I get that I suck.
But the next time I run into someone who describes the bus as a romantic adventure, or tells me how great it is to have a glass of wine, then blissfully sleep the night away while heading to the next destination, I will seriously punch them in the face.